May 2013
22 posts
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“If your butthole likes having things in it, go forth and enjoy. If it doesn’t,...”
– Stoya, on the will to perform (via montecervesa)
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Today I was dieting
I have a weight problem. It’s not the biggest problem in the world - I’m 5’1 and I weight 150lb. I have a BMI of 28.3. I’m a size 14 (UK). So I’m not obese. But I am overweight, and I’m heavier than I would like to be. I’m heavier than I feel I am.
I’ve been working hard on my weight - watching what I eat, exercising more. Over the last year or so I...
misscherry asked: I totally share your views on safewords. And I really dont get why people don't understand why they are not for you. It's not like you are saying "don't use a safeword!". Completely with you on that one here.
sparrow169 asked: Have you ever considered writing a book about BDSM? Your path seems to have given you a lot of valuable experience that I think a lot of people would benefit from. :)
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On responsibility, or otherwise
I’ve enjoyed hashing over the safeword issue, but I don’t want to keep going over old ground. Suffice to say, I do not use safewords and do not believe them to be the bullet proof vest of the kink world. I recognise their value and their purpose and would encourage their use as part of a safe dynamic. Particularly at the beginning of a journey or relationship. But I do not use them,...
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There are a *lot* of kittens on my dash… When the porn has been replaced by cutez, I believe that means it’s bed time….
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Ultraviolets: What follows is a guest post from... →
takeitlikeagoodgirl:
LETS HAVE A MOTHERFUCKIN DIALOGUE UP IN HERE
Hey! I’m Bee, 390nm’s girl, and I wanted to throw in my two cents to the discussion. It’s weird that you speak of the “place beyond” that you wouldn’t get to if you had a safeword, because it contradicts what you said earlier about how you used…
“So basically you prove your submission—your intent to reach new depths/heights...
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Ultraviolets: What follows is a guest post from... →
It’s weird that you speak of the “place beyond” that you wouldn’t get to if you had a safeword, because it contradicts what you said earlier about how you used them because you wanted to see what would happen.
That’s not a contradiction. I don’t like safewords because I like being pushed beyond my limits. I have played with Doms who refused to play without safewords. And once I...
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Ultraviolets: On Safewords →
About all I can do is concede the (very true) fact that you and your Lordship are uniquely skilled and positioned for this sort of risky play.
I don’t think his Lordship and I are ‘uniquely skilled’. I know many people who do not use safewords in play. And again, I stress, I’m not saying that no one should use them ever, I’m saying they are not the only form of...
wowieowl asked: I just wanted to say that I loved what you wrote about safe words. It was wonderfully thought out and beautifully written. :)
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Ultraviolets: On Safewords →
I like a good debate. So I’m getting in on this.
If your sub has never safeworded during a scene, it is a very bad thing in my opinion. I would be concerned that she is not, in fact, skilled at submitting.
This statement struck me and is the reason I am replying to this post. I’m not entirely convinced that submission is a ‘skill’. Submission is a journey. It is a state...
khisakitty asked: Your post about 'withholding contact' made me wonder, what if I as the submissive suggest that my Dominant may choose to send me away for punishment under certain circumstances (because I know that it is indeed very painful). Does it change anything if I ask for it? I will also point out to Him if I cannot stand it, because I don't intend to do some sort of psychological self-harm,...
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This morning, reading through Tumblr, I read a post by someone who was talking about their Dominant ‘punishing’ them by withholding contact. This really upsets me, and I was compelled to rant a little about it.
In my humble opinion, contact should never, ever be used as a bargaining chip. Submission is a journey during which emotions are turbulent and often close to the surface. It is an...
April 2013
23 posts
March 2013
50 posts
lovingrose2 asked: I once told you I admire and I stand by it even more now! I've just read what your Lord wrote about you and -if I may say- I envy you! Spanish is my mother tongue and we have the expression "envidia sana", which means to envy somebody or something with kindness in our hearts. Thank you for sharing your 50 days with us! It's been entertaining and inspirational -to say the least....
